we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
