I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize