Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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