Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
