I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
