THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize