Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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