U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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