He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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