After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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