hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you never un-have a 4some
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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