Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
