I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
