your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
