THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize