margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
