He felt like a one man threesome
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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