she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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