did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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