rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
