super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
