Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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