Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
