Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
