Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
