i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
