So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
