I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
