His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
