i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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