Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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