i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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