I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
