I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
