I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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