no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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