yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
