Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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