hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I need to sanitize my soul.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
