I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize