it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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