thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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