I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
