Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
