Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
