U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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