There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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