Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
