Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
