So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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