At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
