never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
