All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
