i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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