I accidentally burped into my bong.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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