so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
