Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
