Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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