Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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