I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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