If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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