4 words: hood of his car
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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