then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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