Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
