I hope mine doesn't look like that
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
