i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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