She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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