dude i'm inner monologue high
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
