So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
