does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
