erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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