i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
