You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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