Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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