He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize