we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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